


I See a Red Door

by Gael_DCate



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Mentalist
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Crossover, Gen, I don't know why I wrote this, Technically Canon If You Squint
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:01:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29541354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gael_DCate/pseuds/Gael_DCate
Summary: The many times the events of the Mentalist crossed over with Marvel: The AU no one wanted, but the one we deserve.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 2





	1. The Hand Is Quicker

2007

  
  


“He says he’s sorry for all the pain he’s caused you and your mother. Deeply sorry. He asks you to forgive him. Can you do that, Jenny?” Patrick Jane asked the woman, letting the microphone carry his softening voice. 

The woman let out a strangled sob, a smile fighting its way onto her face. 

“He needs to hear it.” He prompted. 

“I forgive you, daddy.” She sobbed, the hidden smile breaking through. He’d succeeded. Now it was time to put the icing on the cake. 

“Oh, yes. He’s smiling now.” Patrick said, putting on a smile of his own. “They’re tears of joy. He says ‘God bless you and keep you.’” He paused for dramatic effect, letting his face fall and his voice grow solemn. “He’s gone.” 

Applause erupted through the audience. The lights in the studio brightened, and the show’s theme song played softly as Patrick returned to the stage. The two co-hosts stood, clapping politely themselves. 

“Amazing, amazing… Amazing!” Kelly, the first host exclaimed. 

“She’s amazed!” The second host, Davis laughed. 

The two hosts and Patrick took their seats, Patrick taking a moment to take a few sips of his tea. 

“So Patrick,” Davis began, waiting for Patrick to set down his cup. “I understand that you’re also sort of a paranormal detective. Is that right?” 

Patrick nodded. “I try to help the police when I can.”

“And you’re helping them hunt this scary serial killer, what’s his name? Red John?” Asked Davis. 

“Yes. Red John, he’s killed eight women that we know of. Terrible, sadistic crimes. The police asked me to try and get a psychic fix on him, to see if I could get a sense of who this man is.” Patrick answered with a nod. 

“How do you do that? Get a psychic fix on someone?” 

Patrick stopped himself from smiling. Time to throw on little razz-matazz. “Well, Davis, true demonic evil burns like fire. It burns with a terrible cold, dark flame. I force myself to look into that flame, and I see an image of the evil-doer; in this case, Red John.” Patrick paused a moment, choosing the perfect words. He’s an ugly, tormented little man- a lonely soul. And sad, very sad.” “

Davis nodded solemnly. “It sounds like you have the case well in hand. Red John better watch out.” 

“Absolutely.” Kelly agreed. “I know beyond a doubt that you will catch this horrible man.”

“But for tonight, we have another special guest coming in.” Davis said with a grin. “The famous, or should I say infamous, businessman Tony Stark.” 

Patrick Jane turned in his seat to get a glance at the renowned genius and inventor. The man was a legend, especially in the con-man world. Everyone wanted to get something from Stark. 

When Tony Stark stepped onto the stage, every eye was on him. Applause ruptured through the crowd, Patrick’s amazing mental tricks momentarily forgotten. 

Stark shook hands with both co-hosts before taking his seat next to Patrick. And Patrick Jane could honestly say he’d never been so close to that much money in his life. 

“Welcome back, Tony.” Said Kelly. 

“Well, it’s nice to be back, Kelly.” Replied Stark. 

Patrick smiled to himself. Kelly and Stark had definitely slept together in the past. Mixed feelings on her part, and indifference on Stark’s part. 

The other host, Davis, leaned forward slightly, addressing Stark. 

“So Tony, I hear you’re putting the finishing touches on a new weapon for the military.” 

“That is what we would call ‘Top Secret’, but yeah.” Stark answered with a grin. “We should be ready for production in a few months. It’s always great to give the military new toys to play with.” 

Patrick eyed the man beside him in fascination. Stark appeared to be fully immersed in the interview, but the slight tightening around his eyebrow suggested he’d rather be anywhere but here. Stark was a self-proclaimed extrovert and narcissist who enjoyed flaunting everything he had, but here and now, Patrick could see him for what he was, and it was... _ interesting.  _

“Tony,” Kelly began, and Patrick returned his attention to the interview. “You are a devout Atheist, yet Patrick here is a proven psychic. How does that fit into your worldview?” 

Ah, now Kelly’s mixed feelings were coming out. 

Stark sat back in his chair. “Well, no offense Patrick. You’re entitled to believe what you want. But if I thought I could talk to dead people, I’d probably be sitting in a nuthouse right now.” 

Mr. Stark was a wizard in front of the camera, but so was Patrick Jane. 

“No offense taken, Tony.” Patrick shrugged with a flippant smile. “Like you said, everyone is entitled to believe what they want. You base your worldview on disbelief, as mine is based on the fact that I am able to listen to the spirits. And I have to say, you’re a very popular guy with a rather large number of those spirits.” 

“What can I say?” Stark clapped his hands together with a grin. “Even the dead can’t stop talking about me.” 

  
  


That night, Patrick Jane came home to a note pinned to his door. 

_ ‘Dear mister Jane,  _

_ I do not like being slandered in the  _

_ media, especially not by a dirty money- _

_ grubbing fraud. _

_ If you were a real psychic, instead of a  _

_ dishonest little worm, you wouldn’t  _

_ need to open the door to see what I’ve _

_ done to your lovely wife and child.’ _

A glistening red smiley face was waiting for Patrick when he opened the door.

  
  


Ten months later, Tony Stark was kidnapped by a band of terrorists and held hostage for an extended three months. 

Patrick Jane, who was interned at a mental health facility at the time, did not hear about the kidnapping, and so could not tell anyone it was Obadiah Stane who was behind it. 

The interview between these two men was promptly forgotten.


	2. Now You See Me

2008

Patrick Jane poured another handful of popcorn into his mouth. It was the perfect, buttery kind that melted in your mouth. He moaned in ecstasy, and held the bag out, offering it to Cho. Cho shook his head, so Patrick shrugged and shoveled down another helping. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the grass was green, and it was his first official case as a CBI consultant. 

“Sir, you can’t eat that here. This is a crime scene.” 

Patrick glanced up at the frowning coroner, then down at the very dead body by his feet. 

“I don’t think Mr. Carrigan is going to mind if I get popcorn on his tasteless, twenty-year-old sweater.” He said, and continued eating his snack. 

“Jane,” A voice said reprovingly. 

Patrick grinned. He was getting very familiar with that particular tone of voice. Her Highness was here.

“Good morning, Lisbon.” 

Agent Teresa Lisbon glared at him reproachfully. “Put the popcorn away and start doing your job.” 

His mouth dropped open in faux astonishment. “I am doing my job, Lisbon! I’ve already figured out who killed Mr. Hairy-gan here.” 

“His name is Carrigan.” Lisbon shot back. “And it’s not possible you already figured it out. You’ve been at the crime scene for less than ten minutes.”

“Well, Mr. Carrigan’s lack of ownership of a razor, lends itself to nicknames.” Patrick pointed out. “And yes, I have figured it out.” 

“You can’t possibly--”

“--It’s the wife.” Patrick cut in. “Look at his cufflinks.” 

Lisbon frowned and followed his gaze to the diamond-studded cufflinks. “Are those real?” 

Patrick grinned. “The rest of his clothes are horrible. Twenty years out of date at least, but those cufflinks are brand new. So, Mr. Carrigan gets a girlfriend, a rich one. The wife finds out, follows him to where he’s meeting the girlfriend, runs out of patience before the girlfriend shows up, and bashes his head in with a very handy rock.” 

“That is pure speculation.” Lisbon protested. “There is no evidence to support--”

“Hey boss,” Rigsby interrupted, walking up. “ The girl who found the body, Jayden McCullough, just confessed to having an affair with Carrigan.” 

Lisbon glared at Jane with a look that could have frozen the sun. “Not a word.” 

Patrick grinned at her and grabbed another handful of popcorn. With a final glare at him, Lisbon stalked over to where Cho was talking to Miss. McCullough. Patrick offered the bag of popcorn to Rigsby, and Rigsby grabbed a handful as well. 

“So, have you thought about my bet?” Patrick asked.

Rigsby snorted. “Dude, that is such an easy hundred bucks.” 

“Well, we’ll know either way in a few hours anyway, so why not up the bet?” Patrick suggested. “Say three hundred?” 

“You’re on.” Rigsby agreed. “There is no way you’re winning this.” 

Back at the CBI headquarters, a half-dozen agents crowded around the only TV on the floor. Lisbon rolled her eyes from across the room, but Patrick could tell she was paying attention. It wasn’t every day, after all, that two metal robots had a fight in the streets. 

“Alright, all the money is locked in. No more bets.” Patrick announced, as the news broadcast began. Cho shushed everyone. 

“... _ And now Mr. Stark has prepared a statement. He will not be taking any questions. Thank you.”  _

The Air Force colonel stepped to the side, and a familiar figure took center stage. Patrick smiled to himself. He knew he was right. Every aspect of that fateful interview was seared into his mind, and he just  _ knew.  _

_ “Uh, been a while since I was in front of you. I think I’ll just stick to the cards this time.”  _ Stark said, and Patrick could hear the answering ripple laughter from the reporters. “ _ There’s been speculation that I was involved in the events that occurred on the freeway and the rooftop-” _

One of the reporters raised her hand. _ “-I’m sorry, Mr. Stark, but do you honestly expect us to believe that that was a bodyguard in a suit that conveniently appeared, despite the fact-” _

Stark broke in. _ “-I know that it’s confusing. It is one thing to question the official story, and another thing entirely to make wild accusations, or insinuate that I’m a superhero.”  _

_ “I never said you were a superhero.”  _ The reporter countered. 

_ “You didn’t?”  _

_ “Hmm, mmn.” _

_ “Well good, because that would be outlandish and, uh, fantastic. I-I’m just not the hero type. Clearly. With this laundry list of character defects, all the mistakes I’ve made, largely public.” _

The Air Force colonel leaned over to whisper something in Stark’s ear, most likely telling him to shut up and read from the cards. The colonel stepped back, and Stark held up the cards. 

“ _ Truth is…”  _ He faced the crowd of reporters, and Patrick grinned, knowing just what was coming. 

Stark dropped the cards. “ _ I am Iron Man.”  _

Rigsby let out a gasp and leaned back too far. His chair tipped all the way backwards, and up his feet went, into the air. Cho surveyed Rigsby with an air of disinterest, then looked up to meet Patrick’s gleeful expression. 

“He owes you three hundred dollars and a shave, right?” 

Patrick nodded. “Pay up, and get rid of that awful beard, Rigs.” He said to the groaning form on the floor. 

“How’d you know anyway?” Lisbon asked. “That Stark was the one in the suit?” 

Patrick’s grin grew wider. “A magician never tells, Lisbon.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to be skipping through years, so if I miss any important dates, please tell me.   
> It originally says that Jane insulted Red John five years before the first episode premiered, meaning it happened in 2003. But in the 100th episode, it says Jane's family died only a year before he came to work for the CBI, making it 2007. I think the 2007 angle works better, because in the first few episodes, Jane is still unfamiliar with the CBI's workings. Have fun reading!


End file.
